Riyadh, Oct 28- Shi’ite rebels in Yemen fired a ballistic missile toward the holy Muslim city of Mecca overnight, Saudi Arabia has said, the insurgents’ deepest strike yet into the kingdom amid the country’s stalemate civil war.
In Zakaristan, Mufti Zakar Lambaik comments. “My brothers, see how by the grace of Allah, our holy land is protected. Jesus loves all of you. I mean Allah loves all of you. We have used the most powerful, state-of-the-art, cutting edge technology of the Moslem world: the Surface-to-air-missile Patriot. To the kuffars who think we are weak, think again. Moslem military technology is the forefront of anyone else!” he partially shouts while raising his hands.
Journalist from Fox News asks, “But how can that be Moslem technology, wasn’t the missile made in the…..”
Lambaik cutted him “Brother, you infidel! Are you trying to insinuate that we do not have the techno intel nor the industrial capacity to build our millitary hardware? You are a buffoon!” He shouted with his forehead creased deeply. “It is Allah who protects us”.
“Didn’t you know our latest achievements in the scientific world. We have calculated the dose-response relationship between camel urine with the growth of bacillus anthracis. Thus we have the remedy to a full-scale bio-war. We also have found significant plaque gingival index healing, when one brushes with the ‘siwak’ or ‘siwa’ ‘ rather than infidel toothpaste. We also found that taking 2 strips of bacon a day, will reduce your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%. This is a waste, as how, will one obtain his 72 virgins?” He elaborated with firm gestures, stroking his chin mane.
“This is my personal favourite: some atthar incense and mutton curry is the best remedy, to get rid of smells after one night of ‘goaty-style'”, he grins to the cheers of the largely kefiyah-donned audience.
“So be warned you infidels. If you ever think that the holy land is susceptible to millitary attacks, we have our AK-47, rocket launchers, Patriot missiles scud missiles, Abrams tanks, Eurofighter typhoons jets, F-15 jets and Apache helis. Proudly made in the Arab Kingdom, by Moslems, utilizing Allah’s science, revealed in the Quran and Hadeeth.” He concluded to calls of ‘Allahu Akbar’.