Chairman Tudo at Jumaah Prayers

Liberal Socialist Chairman Justin Tudo, has approved of Young Mufti Amos Lim Yee Sa‘s, who is in exile in China, proposal to construct an Islamic Theme Park. The two held a meeting on the 11th of May where they had discussed the issue of how to make Islam more innocuous to the citizens of China and to impress oil rich countries in the Middle East to promote better Sino-Arab relations reviving the silk road and agreed that the small town of Yinchuan would be the best place for this Theme park as it already has a concentration of ethnic Chinese Muslims residents.

The two have settled on the name “Sharia Land” and construction is due to begin next week with an estimated cost of US$3.7 billion and expect to be completed in 2020. When complete the park will boast first class amenities while softening the harsh reality of third world conditions in many Islamic countries offering tourists and visitors alike first class amenities in classical Arabian themed architecture and daily performances of historically correct Aladdin, where Jasmine wears a niqab, on the park’s grand stage. Now the rich can truly “Experience the Third World, In First Class”.

To further the effort of desensitizing the population at large towards Islamic traditions and sharia law by promoting fun classic carnival games with a Muslamic twist, like their take on Horseshoe Toss renamed Stone Toss where the point of the game is to chuck rocks at wooden bust of an effeminate figurine in an attempt to topple the figure over, visitors can purchase stones from the carnival vendors or bring their own however personal stones need to be inspected to ensure acceptable size and weight as a really big stone would knock over the figurine too soon and one that is too small won’t do much damage. Another game on offer is Sack Drop, where participants stand on the top of a scaffolding and shove a large rainbow coloured sack off trying to get it to land as close as possible to the bulls eye on the ground below and many more games and minigames such as Hand Chop and Whack a Murtad.

Sharia Land is of course open to everyone to the public, Muslims and non Muslims alike, however with regards to female visitors they must wear a hijab, be covered head to toe and be accompanied by a male relative, they are also prohibited from driving within the compound and forbidden to enter while on their period.

The expected boom in tourist revenue has foreign investors all abuzz with Emirates and Rayani airlines already planning direct flights from the Middle East and South East Asia to Yinchuan. Camel Express has also shown interest and plans to increase their camel flock and began clearing a ground route for their camels to ferry pilgrims.

Commenting on the matter, China’s Tourism and Holiday Minister Ho Lee Dai, added that the projected turnover profits to be within the next 4 years, after which all future profits will be transferred to, the newly founded, CAIR (Chinese Authority on Islamic Relations) as payments of Zakat. CAIR’s President Omar Ahmad said that he was looking forward to working closely with Chairman Tudo and Mufti Amos to further the spread of Islam into mainland China.

We reached out to Mufti Zakir Naik for his comments on the matter and has expressed that he is very pleased with his prodigal son, whom just a few months ago was a misguided Atheist dropping F-bombs on Youtube and getting in trouble with the law but now a beacon of Islamism within China.


sharia land

Grand Mosque inside Sharia Land

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