"Rot in Hell, everyone," said PM Netanyahu. "I don't give a flying fart what you think."

“Rot in Hell, everyone,” said PM Netanyahu. “I don’t give a flying fart what you think.”

In response to the UN resolution declaring Israeli settlements on the West Bank to be illegal, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has announced plans to cut ties with literally everyone, except for the minority of Jews that believes in the creepy tenets of Zionism, and the growing population of citizens in the West that hates Muslims slightly more than it hates Israel.

“Honestly, I don’t give a shit what people think anymore. What’s that? The United Nations thinks what we’re doing is illegal? Fuck you. Lick my asshole. We’re going to keep building settlements. You want to know why? Because eat shit, that’s why.”

“At this point, the Lord G-d Himself, Barukh ata Adonai, could declare the West Bank settlements illegal from on high. I still couldn’t give a holy flying fuck. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been dealing with these stupid, stupid Palestinians? We’ve tried reasoning with them. We’ve tried setting up a pseudo-apartheid state where we keep them on the shitty side and the Jews on the nice side. We’ve tried massacring them. Nothing works with these people except war, and we won the last one, and we’ll win the next one. So fuck the fuck off.”

Continued Prime Minister Netanyahu, “Let me emphasize, one more time, how little I care about what everyone thinks. This morning, I took my usual morning dump, on the fresh picture of Barack Obama that I instruct the Mossad to place in my toilet before I wake up every morning.

And in that pile of shit are billions of bacteria, right? And some of those bacteria, at some point, will take their own, little bacteria sized shit somewhere, right? Bacteria defecate, right? Well, I care more about that piece of bacteria shit than I do about what the world thinks about Israeli settlements. So all of you can go suck it, because every single one of you is a Jew hating anti-Semite.”

PM Netanyahu then excused himself to attend a ribbon cutting ceremony for a new block of settlements that had recently been constructed on the West Bank, but before leaving, reminded us that a significant percentage of the 4% of global citizens who agreed with him would be serving in the incoming American Presidential Cabinet in the next few weeks.

Facebook Comments