To make shirk (pronouced shi – rik) is sin of highest order in Islam.

To the clueless, ignorant kuffar reading this, making shirk is when a Muslim associates other gods with Allah as the Lord of the universe. It inevitably evokes the wrath of the Almighty, The Most Forgiving, The Most Merciful in an instant, even though Allah, also the All-Knowing would have known beforehand what was going to happen, but still.

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Above rape and enslavement and murder and abortion, shirk guarantees you a ticket to the deepest, darkest depths of hell, so deep, and so dark that only other shirkers are present so you are essentially stuck with other shirkers forced to make shirk for the rest of your eternal shirking life.

So here we lay down explicitly what you should not do so you may not unintentionally fall into the trap of making shirk and then end up in shirking hell.


Step 1: Believe in Allah.

Firmly and truly believe in Allah.


Step 2: Go god shopping.

Find another god to believe in. Choose from the wide variety of gods available both online and offline. Choose one you fancy. Heck. If you’re gonna do it, go for broke. Choose as many as you like. The ones on crosses and the ones on electric chairs. The ones with many hands and many wives. The ones long dead and gone. Make sure you are comfortable with your decision for this will be your weapon of choice that will most certainly land you a date with Iblis aka Bill Maher.


Step 3: Share your gods.

Decide upon a ratio by which you will share Allah with your new god/gods. Make sure to work out a way to be able to accommodate your said god/s into your full understanding and belief of how we came to be.


Step 4: Execute

Proceed to fully believe in said god/s according to decided ratio. Make sure to stick with plan, make niat to worship and make du’a to, the other god/s to make sure Allah gets the message.

Walla. You have successfully made shirk, sin of highest order.

So you see my faithful brothers and sisters in Islam, verily, it is much easier than we think it is to make shirk.

If you ever develop the urge due to temptation and homosexual tendencies, don’t. Make repentance immediately.

Don’t make shirk.

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