Dhul Qarnayn is a mysterious figure mentioned in the Quran. A king who builds a great wall to keep the Gog Magog (Yajuj Majuj), the most evil and destructive tribes of men, locked in one place so they cannot harm the rest of us. Since the early times of Islam, scholars have debated over his identity. The majority consensus is that he was Al Iskandar the great philosopher king (Alexander the Great). But this has been recently challenged by modern scholars. Dr. Jokar Nike has come forward with this bold new theory, which states that the Dhul Qarnain tale is not a story of past events but a prophecy.
“It is in the Quran, chapter 18, verse 83 and 84, “They ask thee concerning Dhul Qarnayn. Say, “I will rehearse to you something of his story.” Verily We established his power on earth, and We gave him the ways and the means to all ends.”
“If you analyze, you will see that Allah is talking about a very powerful ruler. Now most people have interpreted this as a story about a good king. Ironically, they made it about Alexander the Great, who was a pagan homosexual emperor. How can a pagan homosexual be good?! This isn’t really about a good king. This is about a powerful ruler who is a bad man, but who unwittingly does us a great service. How do I know all this? Because I am the master at reinterpreting the scriptures, of imposing modern things into ancient texts. I think I might be the Mahdi, I am not saying I am but I might be.
“Anywho, I have figured out who this great ruler is. It’s a prophecy about Trump! He is about to build the great wall that traps the evil Yajuj Majuj. Don’t you know who they are? Ah, what am I thinking. Of course you don’t. You are not as smart as me. The Yajuj Majuj are the filthy Americans! Allah said in the Quran, chapter 18, verse 94, “They said: “O Dhul Qarnayn! The Yajuj Majuj (people) do great mischief on earth: shall we then render thee tribute in order that thou mightest erect a barrier between us and them?”” Who said that? The Mexicans. They were going to give tribute, help build the wall, so as to keep the great doers of mischief, the Americans, away. For Trump said, quote no. 13576994, “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” Trump will be doing all of us a favour by building a great wall around America and keeping Muslims out of that God-forsaken place. Death to America! Takebeer!”