2017 – Singapore – Many ex-Muslims leave Islam for various reasons. Some of them valid and most of them not-so-valid reasons. Some just want to party their youth away, some want to have pre-marital sex and some others want to consume bacon astaughfirullahalazim.
One ex-Muslim man, however, has proven to be quite the exception to this rule. Gothus Touchstone Singularity, 34 who lives in Singapore has come out to say why he has left the one true religion of Islam and the reason why will shock you.
In an interview with our Mufti News journalist, he has confessed that having to be stuck with only 72 virgins for an eternity would be a curse, instead of a blessing to him.
“Ya, you know, I did the Math during one of my tarawih prayers. Can’t blame me. The imam was reading a really long surah and my thoughts kind of drifted to what awaited me on the other side of all this effort and dedication I was putting in into being a good Muslim. ” he comments.
“I guess you could say some kind of hidayah dawned on me. As it turns out, 72 virgins just won’t quite cut it for me. ”
“Even if you had one new virgin every day for 72 days, you’d be done in like what, 2 months or so? ”
“What, then? You recycle? Allah SWT restarts your memory from right before you had your first virgin? ”
Virgins aside, Gothus used to pray regularly, gave zakat and fasted when it was needed. Practically speaking, he was pretty much well on his way to Jannah.
He adds, “Sometimes, we got to read the fine print. I know most of us don’t but when we do, we realise the deals aren’t as good as we think they are.”
“Why 72 though really? Is it like some limited resourcing issue or what?”
Gothus even admitted that for a while, he tried looking for other religions with better afterlife promises but it seemed that Islam was the only one with a heavy focus on the promise of virgins in the afterlife. Even then, it wasn’t up to his expectations.
“Let’s say for once, I was content with 72 virgins. Even so, there are so many questions. Do I get them all at once if I want to? Do I have to wait for intervals? How do they like it? What if they don’t like what I like? That’s gonna be a bummer. ”
Back at the Mufti News headquarters, the Muftis were grappling with the questions being posed by Gothus and were seen to be at a loss as to how to answer him so that he may reconsider Islam.