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Drunken stupor erupted in the peaceful Islamist province of Aceh in the late evening of the 10th of April as the Morality Police apprehended known Booze cartel ring leader, Yueng Ling, who was caught selling booze to impressionable Muslims and having her secret underground brewery raided and destroyed.

Officials from the Morality Police of Aceh have stated that after a long arduous trial, Ms Yeung Ling a 60 year old Christian was found guilty and sentenced to 30 lashes.

Humanitarian And Mercy Aid Services (HAMAS), an Israeli based Human Rights group, had written in to the Officials of Aceh, asking them to reconsider the sentencing for something more lenient adding that corporal punishment is outdated, archaic, barbaric and inhumane. Their criticisms were quickly silenced by the Morality Police of Aceh who called them Islamophobic cultural relativists who had no idea just how fragile the society of Aceh was, citing that if they had let this incident go unpunished, others will not be deterred from comitting heinous unislamic acts.

Amidst the fears of western imperialism and westernization, the central government of Indonesia had granted Aceh special autonomy to implement Sharia onto its Muslim residents on the behest of the village elders in 2001, who once again had their request approved to allow Sharia to be implemented onto non-Muslims in certain situations.

Ms Yueng Ling’s punishment proceeded uninterrupted on the 12th of April to the chorus of whips flying through the air as she and others who have been accused of adultery and crimes against Islam were publicly caned as large crowds gather to watch the spectacle. Ms Yueng Ling’s punishment has set a new precedent for the province of Aceh as this is the first time Sharia has been enacted on non-Muslims, officials said that plans to implement Sharia outside of Aceh are underway, as Indonesia’s large Muslim population are currently living without the guidance and virtue of Sharia and fear of Hudud.

yuenglingNeedless to say, sales of Yuengling beers will be discontinued in the province of Aceh.

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