As the world becomes smaller and Muslims face becoming minorities in the land having to share eating space with the kufar, we Muslims must now be even more vigilant about what we consume. MuzzFeed present this list to help increase the social awareness of the Ummah.
Enjoy and please be mindful of what you consume.
10. Bratwurst and Sauerkraut
As more Muslims answer the call to Jihad and move to Germany, it is important to take note of the host’s eating habit. The Bratwurst is a made of a delectable combination of select meats, like veal and pork with herbs and spices encased in a crispy pig intestine casing, it is slowly grilled to give it that signature snap and crunch on the first bite and is often served with a side of sauerkraut. Do not be fooled though fellow Muslims, although sauerkraut’s main ingredient is cabbage, it is slowly braised for hours in white wine, giving it that tangy sharp taste that compliments the richness of the sausage.
9. Scotch Eggs
The scotch egg is a semi hard boiled egg encased in an inch thick layer of ham and herbs gently shallow fried over a pan so as to not over cook the delicate egg entombed inside the now crisp outer meat shell. The flavour combination of the egg, herbs and ham are simply rustic and very filling, perfectly haram.
8. Cordon Bleu
The finesse required to make the perfect cordon bleu is simply not learned overnight. The pork is hammered thin and tender, then a layered with salty smoky prosciutto ham and a layer of mild creamy swiss cheese. The whole thing is then wrapped up into a tight roll with the pork forming the outside, left to chill and firm up for at least 30 minutes, the cordon bleu is then breaded and shallow fried to form a crispy outer crust. If done right, cutting into it reveals its wonderful flavour filled layers. Totally haram.
7. Char Siew
A dish from the orient, a cut of pork slowly roasted and baste in char siew sauce, forming this charred crispy sweet thin coating over a soft tender pork that melts in the mouth. It’s often served with a side of rice, or inside chinese steamed buns known as bao.
What’s in char siew sauce? I don’t know, I’m a Muslim, not like we can eat this stuff.
6. Braised Pork Belly
The culmination of oriental culinary mastery in this one dish that displays several techniques of cooking and a smorgasbord of of flavours. This dish starts off as a pork belly that is first boiled with herbs infusing it with more flavour, next it is left to rest and dry, before being plunged in a vat of hot oil locking in that distinct pork flavour and making the skin of the belly crispy and crunchy. Once cooled, the meat is then cut into cubes and fried in a mixture of hoisin sauce and soy sauce, the final product is truly… truly haram. You must resist at all cost.
5. Roast Pork
Often served on Sundays, white women in the west would slave away the afternoon in the kitchen preparing this dish lovingly for their family. This dish is often made from the shoulder cut of the pig, marinated in brine overnight and roasted for hours releasing a savoury fragrance in the kitchen. If you must visit your non Muslim acquaintances, try to avoid Sundays.
4. Smoked Ham
The most versatile form of this product, arguably second only to spam, it’s ham.
Ham comes to the kitchen fully cooked, it’s formed by compressing unwanted cuts of pork together with a binding agent then cured and left in a smoking room to develop its complex flavours. Whilst it is already cooked and ready to eat, it can still be glazed and roasted to further develop its flavour with the sweetness of honey.
Salty and Smokey, this piece of meat has been the main reason why many otherwise good Muslims become Ex-Muslims as you will often see them cite this as a reason for their apostasy.
On its own, not very filling but it does amazing things to enhance the flavours of other dishes, for example pasta carbonara or a lettuce and tomato sandwich.
Bottomline is, leaving Islam just for bacon… come on, 4 wives is better than bacon.
2. The Haram Trifecta Pizza
Why anyone would ruin a perfectly good pizza by adding the smokey saltiness of bacon, tender texture and sweetness of ham and the spiciness of pepperoni is beyond us.
The Bacon, Ham and Pepperoni pizza is most haram! Even more so than pineapple on pizza.