These are some ways to get away with various crimes in kaafir societies. Note that the crimes we are talking about here are not real Islamic crimes, but what stupid infidels think of as crimes. We at Mufti News do not condone Islamic crimes AKA sins. The “crimes” we are talking about here are harmless things like rape of uncovered infidels, looting of infidel places, attacking infidels and failed jihad attempts. The best method, of course, is to not get caught. And NOT fail! Just blow up. But if you do get caught, you can use these simple tricks.
1. Conjure The Race Card.
This can work if the victim(s) is white and you are not. You can say, “I’m an underprivileged minority!” This will make the regressive leftists side with you as they have a Marxism-inspired world view where people are divided into classes instead of individuals, where white people are an oppressive class and all other people are oppressed classes who have the right to do anything to the oppressors.
2. Conjure The Victimhood Card.
Try this if you can’t use the race card. You can cry, “Muh victimhood! We Muslims are a persecuted people! All over the world we are persecuted. Westerners bomb us daily. Israelis are killing us in Palestine. And in the West, we are subject to all forms of humiliation like security checks and incorrect stereotypes in media. Islamophobia is now found in all political sides, with people lying about our peaceful religion. Now those Islamophobes will start lying again after seeing me, just one poor victim retaliating against all this injustice!”
Regressive leftists will once again come to your defense. Be sure not to speak about all the atrocities committed by Muslims which are justified by Islamic scripture. Be sure not to mention how the root cause of most problems in the Middle East is religion, and that the violence does not depend on the West.
When speaking about Israel, don’t bring up Hamas and their terrorist attacks on Jews, don’t bring up the fact that Palestinians are taught that Jews are an inherently evil race that should be exterminated. Don’t tell them how the ones who are in charge of Palestinian territories don’t want a peaceful two state solution but want to get rid of Israel. Don’t tell them how even though Israel does commit crimes like building settlements in Palestinian territories, there are worse countries in the world whose crimes are not given the same attention, that there’s good and bad in all sides, yet Israel is always made to look like the big bad guy not because of their crimes but because of the belief that Jews are evil. Don’t tell them how Israel is not really an apartheid state and that Arabs are more free in Israel then in Palestinian territories. Also, use the word ‘Zionist’ instead of ‘Jews’ to be PC, to make it look like you are not antisemitic. Don’t tell them that Zionists are not evil people, that it simply means one who believes that the Jews have the right to have a homeland.
Don’t tell them how Muslims oppress minorities (like apostates and homosexuals, who are often killed) and women in their communities. Don’t tell them that most Muslim deaths are caused by other Muslims. Don’t tell them Muslims are not one uniform group of people, that most of the violence faced by Muslims is unrelated. Like for example, the Rohingya Muslims persecuted in Burma by Burmese Buddhists; it’s not a religious conflict but an ethnic one. The violence of the Buddhists is not supported by Buddhist teachings. And the persecution of the Muslims there is not part of a global conspiracy against Muslims, it does not make Muslims in other places victims. Muslims only focus on these things because they are taught selective empathy, to empathize only with other Muslims. Don’t tell them any of that. Don’t tell them that the Golden Rule applies only to other Muslims in Islam.
Don’t tell them that Islam is the only religion that cannot be insulted the same way as other religions in the West. Don’t tell them how genuine critics of Islam and the voices of suffering minorities within Islamic communities are silenced and slandered in mainstream media. Continue fooling them into thinking Muslims are a powerless underprivileged oppressed minority.
3. If All Else Fails, Try This!
Just say, “Ha! Got’eem! It’s just a prank, bro.” This is a technique used by a rare breed of humans called youtube pranksters. These pranksters hurt and rob people, damage property, steal things, cause heart attacks, sexually abuse people, be racist, homophobic and sexist, yet they all get away with it using this simple trick.
Remember, it’s okay to lie to infidels. It’s just taqiyya, bro.