Donald Trump, now known as Abu Ivanka Daniyal ibn Afrid Al Dramf Al Amriki, with his new Sunnati beard, Mashalla.

Donald Trump, now known as Abu Ivanka Daniyal ibn Afrid Al Dramfi Al Amriki, with his new Sunnati beard, Mashalla.

Earlier today, Donald Trump came out as a Muslim in a press conference. Before saying he is a Muslim, he told the press the usual — that he will build a wall, deport illegal immigrants and prevent Muslim refugees from entering, etc. While the leftist journalists tried to challenge his words and called him ‘a racist Islamophobe’, he came out as a Muslim, saying,

“I have heard hundreds of people telling me, “Donald, you will make a great Muslim leader, read the Quran, it’s amazing”. I have read the Quran, it’s the best book I have read. “Say he’s Allah. The one and only. And none is like him. O Kafirs. I do not worship what you worship. Nor are you worshiping what I worship. And I shall not worship what you are worshipping. Nor are you worshiping what I worship.” I like this. It’s like this book was made for me. “We will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve.” I hear this is a major theme right here, Two Imran, 3:151, that’s the whole ball game. China’s oppressing their Muslims, I don’t know, but this is what people are telling me. To fight China, I have to be a Muslim, I make a great Muslim, I am the best Muslim. This is what Muftis are telling me, I am friends with the best Muftis. I have said the shahada and my new name is Abu Ivanka Daniyal ibn Afrid Al Dramfi Al Amriki. You can call me Caliph Daniyal Dramfi.”

After this shocking revelation, the journalists were dumbfounded.

“The wall I am going to build is like the wall Dhul Qarnain Alexander the Great built to keep the Gog Magog away. When Mexico sends its people, they are not sending Muslims, they are sending Kafirs, they are sending Kafirs. We have enough Kafirs here. Or do you still want Muslims to be an oppressed minority? Are you Islamophobic? Are you racist? Let me tell you, I don’t have a racist bone in my body. What about you?”

While pools of sweat gathered below the leftist journalists, one of them stood up and said, “But what about the Muslim refugees?”

“Look at the gulf countries, they don’t let refugees in. I have Muftis telling me, “Daniyal, don’t let the refugees in.” I know the best Muftis, they are very very good. They are the experts. This is what they are telling me. When refugees from the Middle East come here, they are not the best. They’re not you. They’re not you. They’re people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re bringing terror. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And I don’t assume some are good people. Good people won’t flee from Muslim countries, I tell you. Believe me.”

The leftist journalists were later seen with their SJW and Muslim friends, holding Daniyal Dramfi banners and signs, saying things like,

“We don’t want another shill to be our president. Say NO to Shillary! Say NO to the establishment! Vote Dramfi, our first Muslim president!”

A few non-regressive liberals challenged these protestors by pointing out Dramfi’s questionable views, only to get beaten up by the regressives who called them Islamophobes.

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