"Islam doesn't say that about women. That's a misconception, yo."

“No institution did more for women than Islam. Saudi Arabia is like, awesome, for women, yo.”

Anonymous sources have informed Mufti News that Linda Sarsour, one of the leading organizers behind the Women’s March in Washington D.C., got a chance to finally to crack open the Sahih Bukhari hadith, volume 1, to prove to all the “haters” that there was no contradiction in being a feminist who also simultaneously supports Salafist interpretations of Islam.

“Time to prove deez haterz wrong, yo…” she is reported to have said, as she flipped through the pages scanning for evidence of how the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), 1400 years ago, revealed on behalf of Allah (swt) the divine, infallible laws that would forever and always lift up the status of women from then until the end of time. “I know it’s in here somewhere, my peeps told me this is legit…”

And then, our sources say she found this:

"Say what?"

“Say what?”

Once Allah’s Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) o ‘Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, “O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked, “Why is it so, O Allah’s Apostle ?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.” The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her religion.”

We contacted Linda Sarsour by email to confirm this account. She emailed us back within minutes saying, asking for privacy during her time of “soul searching.”

“I just need to be by myself for a while. Please leave me alone.” – Linda Sarsour

Update: Since the publication of this article, we have been informed that Linda Sarsour has taken up the cause for women in Muslim countries as well, and is currently organizing a Women’s March to be held in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, to advocate for women’s rights across the Muslim world! The Saudi government has tentatively approved the idea, so long as all women attendees are able to present written permission from their male guardians.

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