Guest Reporting by Mufti Mat Solo’s good friend, Chinese Muslim Revert Ulama Abu Chew-Bakar Abdullah

Saudi Arabia — In a stunning revelation that may well turn the heads of all mujahideens everywhere, Mufti Eif Sayed Al-Ovid declared that all of the weapons used by jihadis in their Holy War are actually haram.

The esteemed Mufti came to the conclusion after touring several hidden weapon caches meant to support the current struggle against the non-believers and the accursed Jews, and was shocked to find that almost all of the weapons stockpiled were of American, Russian, or Chinese make.

Haram Wepons of Mass Destruction

Pictured: Haram Wepons of Mass Destruction

“The weapons are haram in more ways than one, and true jihadis should not be wielding these foul weapons in the name of Allah!” he exclaimed, during a telephone interview.

He explained that the weapons were, first and foremost, not constructed in a halal method, which included a prayer to Allah for the weapon to always fire true, and a promise that the weapon would only be used in His name.

“The second reason these weapons are haram is because of the hands that assemble them! These Americans with their pork bacon, the Chinese with their 1001 pork dishes, and the Russians with their pork knuckles!”

“It need not be said that pork, in all of its forms, is haram! What about all the beer and vodka they drink, both before, during, and after constructing the weapons? That these weapons are being used in Allah’s name is an affront to His name, I tell you!”

Ground checks by the MuftiNews’ dedicated team have revealed that the weapons were indeed of American, German, and Russian make, with explosive materials either American-made, or assembled on ground.

When asked about further action, Mufti Eif Sayed told MuftiNews that he will be calling for a fatwa to be issued, condemning the use of such haram weapons, and to call for its immediate cessation of their use in the holy war for a Khilafah. He urged mujahideens everywhere to instead craft their own firearms, and to ensure that their weapons are manufactured in a halal manner.

Pictured: Very Haram Wepons and Haram Japanese Vehicles

Pictured: Very Haram Wepons and Haram Japanese Vehicles

“I will be holding khutbahs on the prayers and ablutions that are required of the jihadi when crafting a weapon, as well as the prayers that need to be said before, during, and after firing a weapon,” said Mufti Eif Sayed.

He added that there were numerous prayers that needed to be uttered while maintaining the weapons, and even while reloading the weapons.

At the same time, the esteemed mufti said that this would be an opportune time to teach the new generation about the weapons of their forefathers.

“A sword was enough for our ancestors to declare a jihad. Such a lesson needs to be taught to the new generations of jihadis, lest they forget,” he added.

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