Confused ginger who thinks he has a soul to save.
What happens to gingers after death? This was the question that was discussed in the Grand Mufti Council in last week’s meeting. It is written in the Quran that every soul shall have a taste of death. And after spending some time in purgatory, all human souls go to heaven or hell. But what about gingers? It is a well known scientific fact that gingers have no souls.
When the question was asked in the council, Dr. Joker Nike, the council’s leading science expert, replied,
“Brother asked a very good question. All animals have souls. Even those pesky ants and flies that get on our candy! There is one life form that does not have souls, plants. Therefore if you analyze, the logical conclusion is gingers are plants! They are simply gone after they die. Science!”
“Hmm. So that means that we can’t have sex with gingers. Humans are allowed to have sex with only other humans”,
said the Grand Mufti Altair Ibn La Ahad of the International Islamic School of the Leap of Faith while stroking his beard.
“What about goats though?”
, asked a concerned Dr. Nike.
“No. No goats, Nike”
, replied the Grand Mufti as Dr. Nike wiped a tear.
One hungry looking Saudi Mufti, who had previously issued a fatwa on eating wives, reportedly said while smacking his lips and rubbing his hands,
“Gingers.. mmmm.. have any of you seen that Rachel Hurd-Wood chick in that movie Perfume? No? What about Ariel in the Little Mermaid? Ah, you know her. Doesn’t she look absolutely scrumptious? Mmmmm. So if they are plants… *slurp*.. we can eat them!”
The meeting ended with a fatwa, which stated that it is haraam to marry gingers but they can be eaten.